8 New Year’s Resolutions for Preemie Moms

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If you’re a mom to a preemie baby, or preemie twins like I am, chances are you’ve heard all of these tips — or proposed resolutions — before.

But bear with me.

Yes, you may have heard them time and time again, but for one reason or another, perhaps you just didn’t follow through.

That’s OK. It’s a new year and another opportunity to restructure how you live.

 

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(Nikoh (L) with Mommy and Noah (R) in January 2017.

So here’s my resolution list. Take it as a friendly little reminder to let the little things go in 2017 and focus on being a tad more easy-going for your own well-being.

1. I will sleep when the baby (or babies) sleep.

When you have a preemie, chances are you are not sleeping much. Between nursing around the clock or feedings every hour or so, you can always use more rest. So when the baby sleeps, remember you should sleep, too. Close your eyes, silence your phone, log off social media and shut your eyes. Whether it’s for 30 minutes or 2 hours, that sleep and rest can help.

2. I won’t waste excessive time on social media.

Yes, I know this can be so hard to do. Especially because we all love to scroll up and down on our favorite social media apps to see what everyone is up to, but it can get excessive at times! I know, because I’m guilty of it! A few minutes here and there to see what’s going on is OK, but realize it can be more beneficial to put your phone down after 15 minutes or so and “unplug” your mind a little. Chances are whatever you missed online will likely pop back up in your feed tomorrow.

3. I will let the laundry pile up.

If you’re anything like me, the problem isn’t loading the washer or dryer. It’s folding and putting all the clothes away! I have twin toddlers (boys), and they breeze through clothes like no one’s business! My sunken in bathtub has now officially become the “family closet” where I just sift through clean clothes to find something for each of us to wear, and that’s OK! Yes, I could spend hours folding and putting clothes away, but why stress when I can use that time to play with my babies?

4. I won’t feel bad for staying home.

Nurturing a preemie baby can take a lot of time and patience. And it always seems like when you do take baby out of the house, he/she/they almost instantaneously get sick. I swear my preemie twins were sick every other week this summer. So instead of going out of your way to attend every birthday party or family/friend functions, know it’s OK when you feel like you should just stay home instead.

5. I will schedule some “me time.”

Whether that be a trip to Target (my favorite place to go!), a drive-thru at Starbucks, a trip to the bookstore, a mani/pedi, or whatever it is you like to do — do it! Don’t feel guilty for giving yourself an hour or two to decompress and unwind. You deserve it, Mama!

6. I will be proud of my mama lifestyle.

When my twins were fresh out of the NICU, I barely had time to eat, let alone get dressed and do my hair. I rocked the mommy bun for well over two years and learned to embrace a fresh, makeup free face in public. I often felt bad for spending all day in my PJs, and then after finally taking a shower around 7 p.m., I’d put on a clean set of PJs. I lived in PJs, and you know what, they are so comfy, easy and great!

7. I will eat something, no matter how small, every morning before 10 a.m.

A banana, protein shake, slice of toast, bowl of cereal, handful of almonds, whatever it is that is accessible, shove it in your mouth! Even if it doesn’t sound good, you just need a little fuel. It took me forever to do this myself, but once I started putting something in my stomach before 1 p.m., I noticed I had more patience with my preemie parenthood responsibilities and felt better, too.

8. I will give myself the benefit of the doubt.

Every night when I tuck my babies into their bed, I often feel tears well up in my eyes, because I remember a moment in the day I am not proud of. A moment where I lost my patience with them, a time when I knew I could’ve been a better mom. It’s normal. We all lose our patience; we are all doing our best and we all have the unconditional love of our precious preemies. You, Mama, are your baby’s lifeline, and even when you’re not at your best, you will always be good enough. So take a breath, forgive yourself for not being perfect, and remember tomorrow’s another chance to do better.

Why I’m Thankful for My Fellow Preemie Mamas

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fullsizerender-1Having a preemie baby can change the way you look at life. It can change the methods by which you prioritize everything from household tasks and work to relationships with family and friends, as well as the focus you place on yourself.

Spending any amount of time in a NICU can make an impact on your heart. Parents of preemies learn fast that we need to be amazingly strong. And if there are times we don’t have the strength for ourselves, we also quickly realize how comforting it can be to be able to pick up the phone, send a text or an email, and reach out to someone who has been exactly where we are.

Some people will understand the change and the new person you’ve morphed into since becoming a preemie mom, while others won’t ever grasp the change, and that’s OK. Hang on tight to anyone who makes an effort to help you get through the NICU experience, and who wants to be there for you and your preemie(s).

I am so thankful to have two close friends who experienced a NICU journey similar to mine with premature twin boys. Almost three years later, I still reach out to them every few weeks for advice about minor medical-related issues that arise, advice on the different toddler stages and struggles, and even for reassurance when I feel like I am doing motherhood all wrong.

Here’s why I am thankful for my fellow preemie mamas:

We understand the complex emotions. It’s been two and half years since my twin boys were born premature at 28 weeks, and I still think to myself, “What did I do wrong? Why wasn’t my body strong enough to carry them longer?” I don’t think I will ever “get over” their premature birth; it’ll always stay with me. It’s comforting knowing other preemie moms can relate to the emotions I will likely always feel about their NICU days.

Some preemie moms also understand why I cringe when I hear my friends say they “can’t wait” to have their full-term baby, or when they do things to kickstart their labor. I am not trying to be judgmental. I am still experiencing sadness about my pregnancy that was cut short, and I really just want you to enjoy yours until baby says its time.

We praise every milestone. In our eyes, our babies will always be worthy of praise, no matter how old they are.

We are each other’s best sounding boards. I am so grateful to know when I talk to fellow preemie moms, they don’t judge me. Instead, they understand my deepest emotions about everything related to my prematurity experience. I feel like I can tell another preemie mom (even a mom I just met) anything, and almost instantaneously they relate and know exactly how I am feeling. The premature baby and mommy community is a strong one, and it’s a great comfort to know there are others who are always willing to listen and be a friend.

XO~

Noah & Nikoh’s Mommy

Breath-Holding Spells ‘Common,’ But Terrifying

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We are smack in the middle of a double dose of the “terrible twos” at my house, which for my twin boys started well before they were 2 and now include terrifying breath-holding spells. Noah and Nikoh’s temperaments often get … Continue reading →

Heartbreaking Accidents Will Happen…

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This gallery contains 11 photos.

  From the moment my twin boys were mobile (crawling, cruising around the furniture, walking and running), I became fixated on baby proofing our house to keep them safe. My biggest fear, like all parents, was to ever see my … Continue reading →

‘Mothering’ Through the NICU Heartache

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I didn’t think I was strong enough to be a NICU mom. Hell, I didn’t even really understand the importance of what the letters N-I-C-U actually meant.

But I learned — very fast– how critical the NICU was to my babies’ development and survival and how my plan for motherhood would never be what I expected. Continue reading →

Moms Don’t Need Sleep, No Really..We Don’t ;)

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I never imagined I could ever “miss” sleeping, but then I became a mother to twins 25 months ago, and I have not slept a solid 2 hours since.

Yes I could have just said 2 years, but 25 months sounds more excruciating, and these days –if I’m being honest–I’m all about dramatics! (Judge me if you  must. But being a little ‘drama’ makes me feel better when I have those ‘Woe is me!’ moments…I’m sure the ‘perfect mommies’ out there can’t relate at all 😉

I swear sometimes I’m so tired, I literally crawl into my twins’ Little Tikes playhouse with them, just so I can close my eyes for 5.2 seconds, and I promise as silly as it sounds, it helps! Where do you escape to? Bathroom at work? Cat nap in your car? Floor in the playroom? Drive-thru line? We all have those places where we steal a few seconds/minutes to ourselves and man does it feel good! Little things people, I am all about the little things to survive each day. When I’m really, really tired and missing my sleep, I literally lay in my bed thinking, ‘How the heck am I going to make it through today?’ Meanwhile my little monsters are jumping, crawling, singing, playing all over my semi-lifeless body. So when I finally muster the energy to change their diapers, brush their teeth and wrangle them downstairs, I head straight to the kitchen. I make myself a cup of coffee in a super cute cup, hoping my gel manicure still looks fresh and post a pic (like the one below) to my social media pages to make it “look” like I got this motherhood thing down to a science.  But if I’m being truthful, life as a mom is/was/will never be as easy, flowery, or glamorous as we can filter it to be. But hey all of the positive reinforcement and comments I get after posting my cute coffee cup picture really helps get my butt in gear for the day! So I do what I gotta do. Whatever it takes.  I’m all about motivation.

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(My fave coffee cup from TJ MAXX & OPI gel nail color ‘You Don’t Know Jacques,’ enhanced with my fave IG filter ‘crema’ – January 2016. “Looks” pretty, right?! There’s a reason I cropped out my face haha!!)

Okay so I know I am not the only mom who often daydreams about how incredible it would be to go away for the weekend, all alone, and sleep in a lush hotel bed with blacked out windows! Heck I’d even take a full Saturday or Sunday at home in bed all by my lonesome. Then I remember I’m a mom and that will never ever happen again for the rest of my life! But a girl can dream, right? But you know what I have come to realize, if it doesn’t ever happen, if I never get that chance to fully recharge myself, sxssxsxxxxxxZzZ  (Sorry for that typo, one of my twins just got a hold of the keyboard lol!) then that’s okay. I have come to believe mothers are like unicorns. We have mystical, magical powers that give us the energy to keep going and tending to our children, households, careers, errands when there is absolutely nothing left of ourselves to give to anyone or anything. Yet somehow, we get it done. We may have a mini-nervous breakdown somewhere in the car, shower, pantry, closet….but we make it happen.
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My twin boys Noah & Nikoh just turned 2 in March, and I’ve been working hard on weaning them off their overnight feedings. Hence my extreme lack of sleep from letting them cry it out. On average I still wake up anywhere from 2-4 times every night. Trust me tired mamas when I say, each time I wake up with my babies I think about you. Yes, YOU! Exhausted, sleep deprived, depressed, sad, overwhelmed moms….and I say to myself, “I know I’m not the only mom awake right this second, caring for her babies or kids, so if she can do it as tired as she is, so can I.” I think about my fellow mamas a lot (the expecting moms who soon will realize how evil sleep deprivation is, the newborn mommy whose baby is waking every 2-3 hours for feedings, the twin preemie mama whose babies need to be fed every 1.5 hours,  the toddler mom whose baby sleeps through the night but she still wakes up overnight to check on baby, the veteran mom who has grade school kids that still wake her up at night when they don’t feel good or forgot about a last minute project…  I pray for you/them every single night! I pray for our patience and strength to continue to thrive solely on the love we get from our children who need us moms for absolutely everything, no matter how young or old they may be. I pray because I know how easy it is to wallow in missing that precious sleep that we lack since the moment we became a mom. Easier said than done, I know!

So if you’re like me and always find yourself wondering if you’ll ever sleep again, although it’s probable, it’s highly unlikely. But you’ll survive, because that’s what us mamas were born and bred to do.

And incase no one has told you today, you’re doing the best you can, and that’s all you can ask or expect from yourself. So be proud of what you accomplished today, and remember we can start all over again tomorrow. And when you’re at the end of your rope from lack of sleep and patience, know you have a fellow mom in ME – Nisha…Noah & Nikoh’s mama – who is thinking of and cheering you on.

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(Late night footsie session with my twins, Noah & Nikoh. – April 6,2016)

Who needs sleep anyway when we can just stay up all night and cuddle! Totally overrated 😉

XO~
Noah & Nikoh’s Mommy

It’s OK to Keep it Simple!

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(Noah (L) and Nikoh (R) sipping their favorite breakfast shakes ~ March 2016)

One of the most stressful aspects of raising my twin boys over the last two years has always been the battle that occurs when it’s time to feed them.

Moms/dads you can relate to this……

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We are currently in the toddler stage, (my twins Noah and Nikoh are turning 2 on March 26!) so the time frame I have to get them to eat ranges from  4-7 minutes (per meal) on a good day. After that, they are “over it.” My boys are pretty good eaters, but sometimes it takes me having to whip up 2-3 small meals before they will actually eat something (And who really has that kind of time right?!….Definitely not this twin mama!) Often times I end up with pieces of food in my hair and on my clothes because they rather “play” than eat!

So on those trying, tiring, stressful days, I remind myself, “It’s OK, to keep it simple!” It can’t always be french toast topped with quinoa and bananas, an egg omelette with veggies and ground turkey, or a breakfast quesadilla…you catch my drift, right? Sometimes it’s ok to just make sure your toddler eats something decent, maintain your sanity and keep it super simple!

So I wanted to share two of the easy peasy snacks that have really helped me keep my stress level down on the days when my twins were not in the mood to eat, and all I wanted to do was crawl into a dark hole.

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(My boys’ favorite Breakfast Blend Liquiado or “shake.”)

Noah & Nikoh’s current favorite snack is what at home we call a “liquiado,” or in English, a shake. The one pictured above is my “Breakfast Blend” liquiado. Super delicious and packed with nutrients so it’s a win! win! Plus it takes all of 3-4 minutes to make and  voilà!…my baby boys have a delicious meal they can drink on their own, and I have a few minutes to decompress!

Here’s what to do: In a blender I add the following – approximately 4 cups of organic whole milk, 1 banana, two cups total of fresh strawberries, raspberries, and/or blueberries, one cup of oatmeal, half a cup of steamed quinoa and a dash of Nestle’s chocolate milk powder. Blend and serve! It’s really that simple.

(*Remember I am making this for twins, so if you only have 1 toddler you might want to use a little less of each ingredient. If not, you can drink the leftovers! And I promise you will love it 😉 You can also substitute the fresh fruit for bagged frozen fruits which you can find at any grocery store. And feel free to add or exclude ingredients based on your toddler’s likings.)

This next snack is super easy, traditional and loved by most parents! Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwiches…yum!

Since my boys are toddlers their food has to be cut into small pieces for obvious safety reasons so PB & J’s are great! I originally gravitated towards the Smuckers Uncrustable Sandwiches which you can find at the grocery store, but that got expensive real quick! (One box can carry 15 sandwiches and costs approximately $10.) So instead I found this awesome Cut-N-Seal gadget (pictured below) from Pampered Chef, which costs less than $20 and is much more economical!

Now I make my twins homemade PB & J Uncrustable Sandwiches multiple times a week, for much less than buying them from the store. You can see how easy it is in a few simple steps (pictured below) .

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Now yes, I realize I am not reinventing the wheel here, and these snacks aren’t unique, but they have come in very handy for me… So I just thought I’d blog about them to remind moms/parents there are a few easy things that can be a big help on those hard days.

So give yourself a break 😉 And keep up the great work!

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XO~Noah & Nikoh’s Mommy

 

It’s Kinda Like This..Crazy Beautiful!!

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There’s not a day that goes by without a family member, friend or perfect stranger asking me, “Okay Nisha, honestly, what’s it really like?”

(“It” means twin motherhood… LOL!)

I always appreciate and welcome any and all questions, because if you’ve never been a parent to multiples (one or more child the exact same age), you might be unable to comprehend how crazy/beautiful it can be. I try to answer this question as best as I can, and it normally tends to be very long-winded. So I thought sharing a tiny glimpse of what I do — diaper/outfit changes upwards of 10 times a day — would be the best insight.

Sometimes to believe it you have to see it….so here ya go!

(Noah & Nikoh, my 29 weekers, thriving big and strong & quickly approaching 2 years old!)

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XO~Noah & Nikoh’s Mommy

 

 

Hang in There, Mama!

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When I first had the idea to start blogging about my pregnancy and being a new mom, I planned to be writing all of the time. I am a journalist, so writing has always, and will always be natural and “easy” for me to do.

Boy oh boy 😉 …was I wrong.

There’s just ZERO time for me anymore! That goes for my love of writing, too.

If you know me personally, you’ve heard me say (probably more times than you liked), “I don’t have any time to myself, I barely have the time to eat!” I know some of you even secretly roll your eyes at me, but don’t worry I do not take it personally! I know I tend to sound like a broken record while talking about my experience as a twin mom.

But, it’s true. There’s no time for ME anymore. Zero time. Zero time, times 2! Because it’s ALL about my boys. The most time I have for myself, is to constantly remind myself to, ‘hang in there,mama!’

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I am not exaggerating. I am not trying to get your sympathy. I am not trying to make my mommy job sound more important or demanding than yours. I’m really being genuine.  The “idea” of motherhood is beautiful and exciting! Especially with all of the pretty baby bump pics us mommies get to share, the baby shower fun and all of the extra attention we get walking around with our beaming belly!  But let’s fast forward to the reality of motherhood, once your baby -or in my case, babies – arrive….life can get crazy, real quick! I consider the day a success if I can shower before 6 p.m. Ha!

All of a sudden I now have two precious little boys attached to each side of my body, at all times of the day and night. It’s nearly impossible to remember life without them. And did I mention, there’s no time for ME anymore?!

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(Noah (L), Mommy & Nikoh (R), December 2015)

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat down at my dining room table to start blogging, do some online shopping, etc… when one of my twin boys sees me and attempts to climb over the couch to get my attention! So there I go..running to catch him! And then catch BOTH of them because when one does something, his twin brother follows right behind him! Needless to say that fabulous blog I had in mind stopped before I could even get started.

There’s been a pretty large gap since the last time I blogged in July. Mostly due to my babies, who are now actually toddlers, being sick for what seemed like all summer long. We’ve been inundated with doctor appointments, specialist appointments, sleepless nights (yes at 20 months old they are still not sleeping through the night!) and freak accidents that literally tore my heart into two pieces. (I will blog about all of that another day!) Not to mention an upcoming surgery for Nikoh later this month. But my goal is to try and write more this year, in hopes of getting my blog up to date with where Noah and Nikoh are today… healthy, thriving and living preemie strong!

But today I just wanted to write and reach out, to all the mommies out there who feel as frazzled as I do on the daily and tell you, hang in there, mama! You’ll  make it through today. And you are doing great!

Motherhood, and parenthood in general, is overwhelming. That goes for whether you’re a twin mama like me, a new mom to one baby, a veteran mom with a car load of kiddos and every type of mom in between.

I constantly remind myself of that quote, “Motherhood is not a competition.” Definitely not! If anything we moreso compete with ourselves, right? I know every morning when I wake up, I try to be a better mom than I was yesterday. And to me, motherhood… it’s more like survival of the fittest! Everyday I just try and survive. Because it’s really never-ending…feedings, diaper changes, outfit changes,spill clean-ups, laundry, dinner, I can go on and on!

Most days I feel like I did a horrible job, but I never give up.

One day I stumbled upon this quote on one of my social media accounts, and I go back and repeat it to myself everyday. So here’s to hoping it can inspire you, as it inspires me, on the days we need it the most!

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XO~Noah & Nikoh’s Mommy