Little by Little…

As a preemie mama, I relate to the following quote so much…


Although Noah and Nikoh just turned 4 months old, (now 2 months adjusted age) this quote reminds me so much of their time in the NICU. They won’t be taking their baby steps anytime soon, but they have already proven to be so strong by conquering so many roadblocks.

More blogs in the works and coming soon!

XO~ Noah & Nikoh’s Mommy

Our Early Arrivals…

In September 2013 I found out I was expecting twin boys. I immediately began prepping myself for their early arrival. Statistically the majority of twins are born premature, so I always expected to go into labor before my May 21, 2014 due date. But when I went into labor the morning of March 24, 2014 none of the research I had done prepared me for what would become the happiest, scariest and most stressful time of my life.

{{ FYI~ This post will be very candid and honest! 😉 }}

That day I woke up to use the bathroom at around 2 a.m. (If you’ve ever been pregnant you know having to pee is something you do allll the time!) Throughout my pregnancy when I felt the urge to pee, I would walk to the bathroom and expect to have a few sprinkles..You normally don’t pee a lot, especially overnight. So when I began to pee I immediately knew something was “wrong” because I was peeing for quite awhile. I turned the light on (I am in the habit of going to the restroom in the dark because I know exactly how many steps it is from my bed to the toilet), looked down and noticed blood. I panicked and yelled for my husband. “Hector! Something’s wrong!!” He jumped out of bed, ran over to me and told me it was time to get to the hospital. “It’s way too early!” I cried. “I am only 30 weeks.”

When I got up off the toilet and started to walk, I remember looking down and saying, “Oh my gosh I am leaking. I think my water broke.” Hector told me to get dressed quickly, but of course I insisted on taking a quick shower. While I was in there, my whole body was shaking because I was so nervous. Hector told me to get out of the shower, “We have to go now,” he said. As I was getting dressed I was very scared because water kept draining out of my body, and it wouldn’t stop. Hector gave me a towel and I stuffed it in my underwear so my clothes would stay somewhat dry on the way to the hospital. We grabbed our bags, jumped in the car and drove to San Antonio Community Hospital in Upland. Hector called my parents and told them we were on our way to the hospital, and they said they would meet us there right away. On the car ride to the hospital I started feeling some pain from the contractions and I started to cry. I was so worried about my babies, because I knew they were going to be premature.

I was admitted to the hospital right away, and after a check of my cervix the nurse told me I was 4 centimeters dilated and she was going to call my doctor to see how we were going to proceed. I was scheduled for a C-Section on May 9, needless to say I was much earlier than my doctor anticipated. While waiting for the doctor to call the hospital, my pain started to intensify and when the nurse checked me again I was 6 centimeters dilated and my nerves were starting to skyrocket. I never thought I would actually feel contractions or labor pains since I was going to have a C-Section, but clearly I was wrong! I was in a lot of pain and terrified. My doctor called within an hour or two and instructed the nurses to do what they could to stop my labor. He said we needed to set a goal of trying to keep my babies in my womb for at least one more week (in my mind I knew that would be impossible). Since I was barely entering my 31st week of pregnancy, I was given two steroid shots 12 hours apart to help the development of my babies’ lungs. The steroids help prevent lung disease, death and other premature complications. I was also given a dose of Magnesium Sulfate which was used to slow down my contractions and reduce problems with my babies’ brains. When the dose of Magnesium was about to be given to me through the IV my nurse said my whole body would get hot. But once it was injected, I immediately felt like my body — from head to toe– was on fire. I remember saying, “I feel like I’m on fire!” (I am certain being on fire feels totally different and much worse, but in that moment that was how I described what I was feeling.) A lot of things from my week in the hospital are a blur, but I will never forget the way the Magnesium felt going into my veins.

I was admitted to the hospital on a Monday, and by Tuesday I was pumped with tons of drugs and painkillers and I honestly felt like I was dying. I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink anything because my stomach needed to be empty incase I needed to have an emergency C-Section. The nurses allowed me to have a few ice chips here and there, and trust me when I say I felt like I was being tortured. I was starving and extremely thirsty and I wasn’t sure I would be able to be strong enough to keep my babies inside of me. Hector, my parents, my sister, brother and other close family and friends came to visit me starting early Monday, but many of those visits are a blur to this day. I remember bits and pieces of conversations I had with them, but most of my memory is of how miserable and scared I was during those days. (I do remember sometime on Tuesday it looked like my labor was stopping, so the nurse allowed me to eat. I asked for a 7UP, chicken broth and Jell-O. Hector and my sister Nubia sat me up on the bed, and began to feed me. I had a small sip of 7UP and the broth, but a few minutes later I threw it all up. I remember saying, “Get me something fast I am going to throw it up!” They both scrambled for a bag, but I ended up throwing up on my gown and sheets while they were both holding my hair back and my body up. Not my best moment!! 😉 )

Despite the medical efforts, the nurses and doctors caring for me were not able to stop my labor for as long as they hoped. The drugs worked for a few hours, but by Tuesday night I started having contractions again and this time there was no stopping them. Tuesday evening the nurse scheduled me for a C-Section at noon on Wednesday, so I tried to sleep in anticipation of my delivery. A few hours later my contractions kept getting stronger and the pain was intense. By early Wednesday there was no more keeping my babies inside, it was time for their early arrival.

I was taken in for my C-Section just before 6 a.m., and I don’t really remember anything. I know most women are coherent and awake during the surgery, but I was pretty much out of it. I vaguely remember getting a spinal tap. “Put your head down and place it on my chest,” I remember the nurse telling me. But I don’t recall feeling any pain. The next memory I have is of a tear rolling down my cheek, and a doctor asking me “Why are you crying my dear?” Most women I spoke to said they didn’t feel any pain during their C-Section, instead they described it as “pressure.” I felt pain though. The best way I can explain it is to say that I felt rough pulling from right beneath my chest and it hurt. “Please give me something else,” I cried to the doctor. “I feel you pulling and it hurts. I don’t want to feel it.” I know my husband was in the room, along with about 12 other people, and he was holding my hand and talking to me, but I don’t remember seeing him or hearing what he was saying. To this day I am not sure if they gave me more pain medication when I asked for it, or if I just passed out. Either way, I don’t remember anything else.

When the doctors delivered Baby A and Baby B, they didn’t bring them over to me, or lay them on my chest like I expected them to do. My husband didn’t even get to see them. Instead our babies were handed to the nurses, placed into incubators, immediately began receiving oxygen through a pump and rushed to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit which was across the hall from the operating room. Hector followed both babies into the NICU.

The next vivid memory I have is about 10 hours later when I was out of recovery and my husband wheeled me into the NICU to see my babies, Noah Jeremy Jaime (3 lbs., 5 oz.) and Nikoh Jude Jaime (3 lbs., 9 oz.) for the first time. They were born at 6:30 a.m. and 6:32 a.m., respectively. I remember that moment crystal clear. I dreamt about meeting my babies for such a long time and finally the moment was here. Each of them were in their own incubators, and hooked up to several machines with tubes coming out of their mouths, arms and feet. I couldn’t even see what their faces looked like because they had so many wires, tape and masks covering them. I immediately began to cry so hard because they were the most beautiful babies I had ever seen, because I felt so overwhelmed with sadness that they were born so early and because I was terrified at the thought of them suffering from premature complications.

I wasn’t allowed to hold them the first few days because they were not in stable condition. Instead I caressed their skin with my fingers, placed my mouth near the arm holes in their incubators and whispered to each of them, “Mommy’s here.”

Noah and Nikoh endured so much in the NICU during their month and a half stay, I will share their journey of perseverance in future blogs.

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XO~ Noah & Nikoh’s Mommy