Little by Little…

As a preemie mama, I relate to the following quote so much…

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Although Noah and Nikoh just turned 4 months old, (now 2 months adjusted age) this quote reminds me so much of their time in the NICU. They won’t be taking their baby steps anytime soon, but they have already proven to be so strong by conquering so many roadblocks.

More blogs in the works and coming soon!

XO~ Noah & Nikoh’s Mommy

Our Early Arrivals…

In September 2013 I found out I was expecting twin boys. I immediately began prepping myself for their early arrival. Statistically the majority of twins are born premature, so I always expected to go into labor before my May 21, 2014 due date. But when I went into labor the morning of March 24, 2014 none of the research I had done prepared me for what would become the happiest, scariest and most stressful time of my life.

{{ FYI~ This post will be very candid and honest! ūüėČ }}

That day I woke up to use the bathroom at around 2 a.m. (If you’ve ever been pregnant you know having to pee is something you do allll the time!) Throughout my pregnancy when I felt the urge to pee, I would walk to the bathroom and expect to have a few sprinkles..You normally don’t pee a lot, especially overnight. So when I began to pee I immediately knew something was “wrong” because I was peeing for quite awhile. I turned the light on (I am in the habit of going to the restroom in the dark because I know exactly how many steps it is from my bed to the toilet), looked down and noticed blood. I panicked and yelled for my husband. “Hector! Something’s wrong!!” He jumped out of bed, ran over to me and told me it was time to get to the hospital. “It’s way too early!” I cried. “I am only 30 weeks.”

When I got up off the toilet and started to walk, I remember looking down and saying, “Oh my gosh I am leaking. I think my water broke.” Hector told me to get dressed quickly, but of course I insisted on taking a quick shower. While I was in there, my whole body was shaking because I was so nervous. Hector told me to get out of the shower, “We have to go now,” he said. As I was getting dressed I was very scared because water kept draining out of my body, and it wouldn’t stop. Hector gave me a towel and I stuffed it in my underwear so my clothes would stay somewhat dry on the way to the hospital. We grabbed our bags, jumped in the car and drove to San Antonio Community Hospital in Upland. Hector called my parents and told them we were on our way to the hospital, and they said they would meet us there right away. On the car ride to the hospital I started feeling some pain from the contractions and I started to cry. I was so worried about my babies, because I knew they were going to be premature.

I was admitted to the hospital right away, and after a check of my cervix the nurse told me I was 4 centimeters dilated and she was going to call my doctor to see how we were going to proceed. I was scheduled for a C-Section on May 9, needless to say I was much earlier than my doctor anticipated. While waiting for the doctor to call the hospital, my pain started to intensify and when the nurse checked me again I was 6 centimeters dilated and my nerves were starting to skyrocket. I never thought I would actually feel contractions or labor pains since I was going to have a C-Section, but clearly I was wrong! I was in a lot of pain and terrified. My doctor called within an hour or two and instructed the nurses to do what they could to stop my labor. He said we needed to set a goal of trying to keep my babies in my womb for at least one more week (in my mind I knew that would be impossible). Since I was barely entering my 31st week of pregnancy, I was given two steroid shots 12 hours apart to help the development of my babies’ lungs. The steroids help prevent lung disease, death and other premature complications. I was also given a dose of Magnesium Sulfate which was used to slow down my contractions and reduce problems with my babies’ brains. When the dose of Magnesium was about to be given to me through the IV my nurse said my whole body would get hot. But once it was injected, I immediately felt like my body — from head to toe– was on fire. I remember saying, “I feel like I’m on fire!” (I am certain being on fire feels totally different and much worse, but in that moment that was how I described what I was feeling.) A lot of things from my week in the hospital are a blur, but I will never forget the way the Magnesium felt going into my veins.

I was admitted to the hospital on a Monday, and by Tuesday I was pumped with tons of drugs and painkillers and I honestly felt like I was dying. I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink anything because my stomach needed to be empty incase I needed to have an emergency C-Section. The nurses allowed me to have a few ice chips here and there, and trust me when I say I felt like I was being tortured. I was starving and extremely thirsty and I wasn’t sure I would be able to be strong enough to keep my babies inside of me. Hector, my parents, my sister, brother and other close family and friends came to visit me starting early Monday, but many of those visits are a blur to this day. I remember bits and pieces of conversations I had with them, but most of my memory is of how miserable and scared I was during those days. (I do remember sometime on Tuesday it looked like my labor was stopping, so the nurse allowed me to eat. I asked for a 7UP, chicken broth and Jell-O. Hector and my sister Nubia sat me up on the bed, and began to feed me. I had a small sip of 7UP and the broth, but a few minutes later I threw it all up. I remember saying, “Get me something fast I am going to throw it up!” They both scrambled for a bag, but I ended up throwing up on my gown and sheets while they were both holding my hair back and my body up. Not my best moment!! ūüėČ )

Despite the medical efforts, the nurses and doctors caring for me were not able to stop my labor for as long as they hoped. The drugs worked for a few hours, but by Tuesday night I started having contractions again and this time there was no stopping them. Tuesday evening the nurse scheduled me for a C-Section at noon on Wednesday, so I tried to sleep in anticipation of my delivery. A few hours later my contractions kept getting stronger and the pain was intense. By early Wednesday there was no more keeping my babies inside, it was time for their early arrival.

I was taken in for my C-Section just before 6 a.m., and I don’t really remember anything. I know most women are coherent and awake during the surgery, but I was pretty much out of it. I vaguely remember getting a spinal tap. “Put your head down and place it on my chest,” I remember the nurse telling me. But I don’t recall feeling any pain. The next memory I have is of a tear rolling down my cheek, and a doctor asking me “Why are you crying my dear?” Most women I spoke to said they didn’t feel any pain during their C-Section, instead they described it as “pressure.” I felt pain though. The best way I can explain it is to say that I felt rough pulling from right beneath my chest and it hurt. “Please give me something else,” I cried to the doctor. “I feel you pulling and it hurts. I don’t want to feel it.” I know my husband was in the room, along with about 12 other people, and he was holding my hand and talking to me, but I don’t remember seeing him or hearing what he was saying. To this day I am not sure if they gave me more pain medication when I asked for it, or if I just passed out. Either way, I don’t remember anything else.

When the doctors delivered Baby A and Baby B, they didn’t bring them over to me, or lay them on my chest like I expected them to do. My husband didn’t even get to see them. Instead our babies were handed to the nurses, placed into incubators, immediately began receiving oxygen through a pump and rushed to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit which was across the hall from the operating room. Hector followed both babies into the NICU.

The next vivid memory I have is about 10 hours later when I was out of recovery and my husband wheeled me into the NICU to see my babies, Noah Jeremy Jaime (3 lbs., 5 oz.) and Nikoh Jude Jaime (3 lbs., 9 oz.) for the first time. They were born at 6:30 a.m. and 6:32 a.m., respectively. I remember that moment crystal clear. I dreamt about meeting my babies for such a long time and finally the moment was here. Each of them were in their own incubators, and hooked up to several machines with tubes coming out of their mouths, arms and feet. I couldn’t even see what their faces looked like because they had so many wires, tape and masks covering them. I immediately began to cry so hard because they were the most beautiful babies I had ever seen, because I felt so overwhelmed with sadness that they were born so early and because I was terrified at the thought of them suffering from premature complications.

I wasn’t allowed to hold them the first few days because they were not in stable condition. Instead I caressed their skin with my fingers, placed my mouth near the arm holes in their incubators and whispered to each of them, “Mommy’s here.”

Noah and Nikoh endured so much in the NICU during their month and a half stay, I will share their journey of perseverance in future blogs.

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XO~ Noah & Nikoh’s Mommy

Growing Pains, Times Two!

The last few weeks have been incredibly painful. I am officially unable to stay in one position for longer than 10 minutes maximum due to intense upper back pain. I am well aware that back pain is a common problem associated with pregnancy, but I wish I knew how it feels to carry one baby so I could have a better understanding if the pain is amplified with two babies.

I have all the resources that are supposed to help manage the pain, including a maternity belt and full body pregnancy pillow, but nothing seems to work anymore. My sleep patterns tend to be in about 45 minute increments and then I wake up to shift positions or get up and walk around a bit. The lack of uninterrupted sleep doesn’t bother so much, but the pain is often unbearable. My mom advised me to have my doctor give me a urine test to check for an infection, and sure enough I found out I had one last week. Pregnant women are very susceptible to bladder infections and I am no exception. My doctor prescribed amoxicillin, which I was hesitant to take, but she assured me it was safe and wouldn’t harm the babies. The bladder infection did contribute to my back pain, but although the infection is now gone the back pain still remains.

In order to manage the pain, I’ve relied on prenatal massages, praying, breathing exercises and just reminding myself that my babies are worth every ache and pain. Last night I finally took one Tylenol, which my doctor said is safe, but I definitely don’t want to rely on, because I hadn’t slept much over the last week. So I treated myself to 7 straight hours. It was super nice!! I do feel very guilty though because I haven’t taken any medication this entire pregnancy up until this week, and I pray it won’t affect the babies.

On another note, I’ve gained 30 pounds so far and if one more person tells me I’m ‘So tiny for carrying twins’ I just might fly off the handle! These are some other things that should be common sense, yet I’ve had people say to me over the last 7 months…IMG_20140318_125944

XO, A & B’s Mommy

The ‘Upside’ of a High-Risk Twin Pregnancy

My pregnancy was classified as high-risk immediately after it was determined I was carrying twins. The words “high-risk” initially had me in a panic, but soon I found one “perk” to the high risk classification to my pregnancy.

Twin pregnancies are classified as high risk due to the increased¬†chance of preterm labor and premature birth. A woman’s body gets so crowded during a twin pregnancy, that often it feels like there is not enough room for the babies to keep growing inside their mommy, therefore making the body mistakenly think it’s time for delivery when it’s really too premature. A woman’s body often feels this way at around the sixth month of pregnancy, so it’s essential for the mommy to take it easy and stay off her feet as much as possible.

Another reason for a twin pregnancy to be classified as high risk, is because extra monitoring is needed to make sure one twin doesn’t get more nutrition or oxygen than its sibling. So during twin gestations, a lot of ultrasounds are done to make sure the twins are growing properly. In my case, I see a twin specialist every four weeks, in addition to my¬† regular OB/GYN pregnancy check-ups. This is the “perk” I was talking about! Don’t get me wrong, every ultrasound is stressful because the specialist¬†takes a very close look at every part of Baby A and Baby B, and explains what she is looking at while I watch the ultrasound on the screen. But the perk is getting to see my babies so often during my pregnancy, and so in-depth.

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Some of the body parts closely monitored for proper growth every four weeks during the ultrasounds¬†are the babies’ femur bones, four-heart chambers, arms, legs, heads, abdomens, lips¬†and faces, just to name a few. The doctors also take a close look at the umbilical cords to make sure they are properly attached. As of Feb. 20, 2014 both of my twins, Baby A & Baby B , are each about 2.5 pounds and growing right on track. That’s not to say the twin specialist hasn’t noticed anything of slight concern with my twins’ gestation. A few months back she did notice a tiny calcium deposit in the heart of Baby A, which she is monitoring and said shouldn’t be anything that could cause harm to him. Often these types of deposits are linked to Down Syndrome, but after some bloodwork and¬†consulting with a genetic counselor ,we decided to steer away from the amniocentesis and trust that God will take care of our babies and continue to keep them healthy.

The twin specialist also noticed that one of the placentas (there are two since my twins are fraternal) is broken into two pieces, instead of being in one. The only problem this poses, according to my doctor, is that when I deliver the babies the surgeon has to be absolutely sure to remove all pieces of the placenta from my body. Leaving a piece of placenta behind in my body can lead to problems down the road for me.

Overall, the Jaime Baby Boys are doing fantastic! It makes me so happy to know that I am doing a good job at keeping them healthy and safe. I love them so much and I can’t wait to cradle them in my arms.

Please keep praying that Baby A and Baby B continue to share nutrients and keep growing properly!

XO~ A & B’s Mommy

We Made 1 Wish, 2 Came True…

The feeling I had when I found out I was pregnant hasn’t ceased since the moment it happened. However it did increase, two-fold.

At the beginning of my pregnancy, somewhere around the 9th week, we went to my doctor’s office for a check-up. As I climbed up onto the exam table, Hector took a seat in a chair and I remember saying, “I can’t wait to see how our baby has grown.” The nurse and doctor walked in and greeted us as usual, then proceeded with the ultrasound. Our eyes were fixated on the large TV screen that projects the ultrasound, as the doctor was trying to focus in on our tiny little baby. I remember looking away from the screen for just a second, and that’s when I heard Hector say, “Is that two?!” Not really comprehending what he meant, I turned and looked at the screen and saw two little pods floating around. “Wow, it’s your lucky day!” the doctor said. “You’re having twins!”

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All I could do was smile, and say “Oh my goodness, twins?! Are you sure?!” The doctor assured us that we indeed had two little miracles. Hector was ecstatic, he kept saying “This is awesome, this is so awesome! I wanted twins so bad.” (Twins run like wildlfire in my mom’s family, so he knew twins were a possibility..) When we walked out of the doctor’s office, my heart was racing and I had a flood of mixed emotions. I was so happy to see my baby, which was suddenly “babies,” but I was also scared to death. I started to cry as we walked towards the elevator, and buried my head into Hector’s chest. He hugged me, and asked why I was so sad.

“I am not sad at all, I am just so scared,” I told him. “I don’t know how to take care of one baby, how in the world am I going to take care of two?”

After some reassuring from Hector, I started to feel a little better and I immediately called my parents, sister and brother to tell them the wonderful news.

Sensing my excitement and anxiety, my mom told me, “Don’t worry my love, God gave you two babies because he knew you could do it. We are all right here to help you.”

Sometimes the dreams that come true are the ones we never even knew we had..”

XO~ A & B’s Mommy

The Day My Life Changed: Sept. 10, 2013

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The day I found out we were having a baby was unforgettable. It was Sept. 10, 2013. I spent the morning at Hoag Hospital with my husband, sister-in-laws and brothers-in-law spending some time with my father-in-law before he went in for a surgery. Once it was time for him to be wheeled in, we left the hospital as a group and had breakfast together at a restaurant nearby in Costa Mesa.

I was expecting a call that day from my doctor, in anticipation of a blood test I took a few days before, but my mind was consumed with praying that my father-in-law’s surgery would be a success and that he would come out of it safe and with no complications. As we finished breakfast, my phone rang. I immediately recognized the phone number, it was my doctor calling and before I answered I braced myself for bad news: “Nisha, today is not about you. The most important thing today is for my father-in-law to come out of surgery with no problems. Don’t get sad, no matter what the test result is.” So with that frame of mind, I stepped away from the table to answer the phone and expected it would be a “negative.”

But as fate would have it, the doctor said, “Nisha, I have wonderful news for you. You my dear are pregnant!” I will never forget that moment, tears immediately filled my eyes and I just started crying and asking, “Are you sure? Are you really sure? This cannot be happening. FINALLY!” As I hung up the phone my first instinct was to run over to Hector, throw my arms around him and scream, “Babe we are going to have our baby!” But I didn’t. The timing, the moment was not right. His mind was focused on my father-in-law and I completely understood. So I wiped my tears, took a moment to thank God, smiled really big and then I walked over to the car where Hector and my brother-in-law and sister-in-laws were waiting. We drove back over to the hospital to continue waiting for my father-in-law’s surgery to be over.

As everyone walked in one by one to the lobby area, I pulled Hector back and said, “Come outside for a second.” I told him I knew it was bad timing, but said, “There is something I have to tell you.” “It was negative, right,” Hector asked, in reference to my call from the doctor (he knew I was expecting test results that day.) And I said, “You’re not going to believe this, but it’s positive. We are going to have a baby! I know this isn’t the right time, but I had to tell you.”

I will never forget the look he gave me, he’s never looked at me that way before. He was so happy, so shocked and so excited. He hugged me super tight, and said, “Wow! Babe the timing is perfect. I cannot believe it, I am so happy.”

After having our moment together in the parking lot of Hoag Hospital, we decided we would keep our wonderful news to ourselves until his dad recovered from surgery. Ever since that day, we haven’t stopped thanking God for answering our prayers.

XO~ A&B’s Mommy

God’s Timing is Always Perfect..

Image¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† My husband and I always talked about having children, even before we were engaged or married. We always knew having a family was a wish we both shared. Children were something we both said we loved, we both said we wanted, we both said we prayed for all the time. My stepdaughter was 11 when we first met, and he always told me he wanted her to have a sibling once he was married. We continued on our path and as fate would have it, we were married on May 1, 2010 and vowed that day to have a family created in God’s love.

We had lots of goals and dreams we wanted to accomplish first: I wanted to get my Master’s Degree, he wanted to grow his business and we both wanted to buy a house. So we set out on our goals, but having a baby was always the foundation for everything we did. Once we checked something off our list, we knew we were that much closer to getting started on our family.

After years of hard work, we finally did it. We checked off our “must haves before baby” and then we started “trying.” I would be lying if I said it happened right away, like it does for so many people. I am not sure if it was my age (early 30s at the time), the fact that I had been on birth control for the majority of my adult life or if it was because my body just wanted to be stubborn, but it took us much longer to get pregnant than we actually hoped for. Don’t get me wrong, there were months at a time when we said “ok, let’s stop “trying,” and instead we would focus on just having fun, traveling and doing anything we wanted to do. But then there were the months when we tried so very hard, and it wouldn’t happen. Of course it seemed like everyone else was pregnant, but for some reason we were not. We went through all the emotions; anger, sadness, hopelessness and despair….

And then one day we finally realized, when God wants it to happen, it will. He will bless us with a baby…so we prayed and prayed, and knew in our hearts we were destined to have a baby.

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Whatever your heart desires, put it in God’s hands and he will answer..maybe not right away, but when the timing is right.

XO~ A & B’s Mommy

A Blog Dedicated to My Baby Boys..

photo-118I first started blogging back in 2011, while I was a graduate student at California State University Fullerton. A journalist by profession, I embraced the idea of a blog when it was required in one of my classes. I spent one semester blogging about “beauty” and how it influences the thoughts and actions of young girls, if you are interested in reading my previous blogs you can access them on this site, Nishaonbeauty.wordpress.com.

After the class ended, I received my master’s degree and haven’t done much blogging since then because I spend all of my time working as a full-time journalist and news editor. The last few weeks I’ve been thinking about blogging again, but this time it will be much more personal and special. I am currently in my fifth month of pregnancy, and I felt blogging about the upcoming arrival of my twin boys would be a wonderful way to document the newest, most precious time in my life.

I hope one day my boys will read my blogs, and feel the happiness that has consumed every inch of my body and heart since I found out they were growing inside of me.

Check back for more blogs soon..

XO~ A & B’s Mommy